So cute. I hope this works with my hair!
BACK YARD PROJECT!
This is my back yard. Not much to look at. Overgrown weeds, random rain-ruined cushion on the deck, no light. Not a very cozy place to hang out.
Well, I decided that this has to change. I’ve got a perfectly good back porch, I might as well use it while the summer lasts. :) I’m letting my artistic urges take over and decorating the back porch by July 6 is the plan!
-For some reason, I love this!
Retrato a Julian by Alejandro Maestre Gasteazi
Hmm I sort of last count of the days since I decided to break my habit of nail biting. I’ve had a few slip ups since my last post but nothing major. It’s always the most difficult to quit a habit cold turkey, and I am not going to beat myself up for small slip ups. I have been very good at stopping myself once I notice the mistake and I am taking pride in that for now :)
My current goal is to have nails long enough to paint pink for my recital three weeks form now!
Something realistic, but still a challenge.
Had the worst urges to bite today! I did have a a lot of down time so that explains it.
It almost hurts to not bite sometimes!
But I got through it and didn’t have a single slip up :)
Just slipped up once biting one nail in my 2 hour long medieval music seminar.
2 HOUR LONG MEDIEVAL MUSIC SEMINAR
Come on, give me a break ;)
Recently, I have been thinking greatly about my compulsive behaviors, i.e. extreme nail biting and eyebrow/eyelash pulling. Why do I do it? Is it linked to stress/anxiety? Why have I been unsuccessful in quitting the habits? Some people ask me, “If it looks so bad, and hurts your hands/face, why don’t you stop?”
This is a very hard question to answer. Why don’t I just stop? What, in my brain, is supporting these unhealthy and ugly habits?
While I still don’t know the answer to these questions, I have been researching on the topic, and have come up with some interesting answers.
I is definitely psychological, just as most habits or compulsive behaviors are. My brain, for some reason, sees nail biting as a way to protect myself from some kind of pain or discomfort, i.e. stress, anxiety, sadness, boredom. I never seem to bite my nails when I’m engaged with an activity, whether physically or mentally, in a rather good mood, or when my day is going smoothly. I bite my nails and pull out my hair to comfort myself, and while that doesn’t make a lick of sense to someone who does not do the same, it really doesn’t make much more sense to me either. All I know is that biting my nails and pulling out my hair is relief, whether strange and confusing or not.
Now, I am not trying to give myself a reason to succumb to my habits. Quite the contrary. I am trying to quit! These behaviors are destructive to my body.
If one pulls out hair enough times from one spot, eventually the hair will stop growing! Nail biting can create infections on the fingers, germ transfer from hands to mouth, and damage to your teeth and gums. Recently, I chipped a tooth. Not a lot big chip, you can barely see it, but it is most definitely a sign that I need to quit my severe nail biting compulsion.
So the point of this long, boring post about my ridiculous habits is this:
This is day one of my no nail biting blog. :) Let the challenge begin.
Easter Baskets for the roomies :)
Alyssa Tamayo Photography :)
My best friend Kevin is on his way home from Korea today! I am so excited to see him in person again after just over a year!! It’s been so long!
It’s going to be a great month :)